


A Late Night Phone Call

by imkerfuffled



Series: 25 Days of Ficlet Prompts [22]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-27
Updated: 2015-12-27
Packaged: 2018-05-09 19:05:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5551736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imkerfuffled/pseuds/imkerfuffled
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alternately titled: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯</p><p>N: Hey Clint, you love me right?<br/>C: what did you do this time</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Late Night Phone Call

**Author's Note:**

> I have no excuses for this one. I... just read it, okay, I don't even know

N: Hey Clint, you love me right?

C: what did you do this time

C: also my WIFE is lying RIGHT NEXT TO ME could you maybe not say things that imply were in a romantic relationship okay i get enough shit from shield im not cheating on my wife

N: Laura loves me too. Hi Laura!!! :D :D

C: ok fine laura says hi back what did you do

N: I was wondering if maaaaybe u could stop by and help me with a thing?

C: NAT i am in OHIO it is 11 AT NIGHT

N: Yeah me too. I'm ~45 min south of you. Secret mission for the pirate captain and all

C: nat what did you do

N: Well I’m sitting in a crappy hotel bathroom and there’s blood all over my clothes

N: also I’m hungry and it’s cold

C: are you ok

N: I am bleeding out of a hole in my body

C: shit nat yeah ill be right there

C: how bad is it

N: ???? idk

C: HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW HOW BAD IT IS

N: idk

C: NAT YOU ARE A TRAINED ASSASSIN

C: NAT

C: ok fine um how much blood is there how long have you been bleeding

C: what happened

N: Well I was trapped in a basement with no food and water for a week, and I just escaped. So there’s that ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

C: how do you even do those faces

N: Black magic (∩ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)⊃━☆ﾟ

C: HOW DO YOU nevermind you said you were bleeding

N: Yeah it’s about the normal amount of blood, but it’s been three days so ✧*。ヾ(｡>﹏<｡)ﾉﾞ✧*。

C: SHIT NAT I AM COMING OVER RIGHT NOW WHAT DO YOU NEED ILL BRING THE FIRST AID KIT

N: Ok thanks (●♡∀♡)

N: Could you bring food too? I haven’t eaten in a week and I’m starving

N: I’m good on water I can reach the sink from the toilet

N: That’s probably really unhygienic

N: Clint if I die of some sort of bacteria from this water, promise to make Stark sue the hotel

N: Oh yeah could you bring tampons???

C: yeah sure okay nat wow wait where are you

N: idk I was in a basement for a week, and I just broke into this hotel room (sidenote: not sure when the cleaning people are going to be here, so please hurry)

C: nat you are bleeding of course I’m hurrying but WHERE ARE YOU

N: I don’t know! Just use your big brother tracky app thingy to find me

C: big brother tracky app thingy

C; if the nerd geeks at shield heard you say that theyd have a fit

N: They monitor all my stuff on this phone. Why do you think I say things like that?

C: yeah okay im going now dont die

N: It’s nowhere near THAT serious

N: No, Clint stop worrying so much. It’s rly not that big a deal

N: Clint? You there?

N: Wow I actually feel kinda bad about this. What have you done to me???

N: Ew Clint there’s a bug in this bathroom

N: I can’t reach it with my foot

N: It’s just sitting there mocking me with its tiny little antennae

N: I am so bored, when are you getting here?

N: SHIT I THINK I HEARD THE CLEANING PEOPLE

N: False alarm, the couple next door are just having sex

N: WOW that is REALLY LOUD

N: How did I mistake that for cleaning people?

N: oh god why do I have to listen to this

N: Clint help

N: CLEANING PEOPLE! CLEANING PEOPLE!!!!

N: Wait, no that's you. Hi Clint

 

**Ten Minutes Later:**

 

C: I am coming home now.

L: What, already? Is Tasha okay? What’s going on?

C: Natasha is fine.

L: …why are you texting like that?

C: Why am I texting like what?

L: With proper punctuation and capital letters and everything

C: Maybe I want to.

L: Honey you’re scaring me. What’s wrong with Nat?

C: There is nothing wrong with Nat.

L: Then… why did you freak out and drive all the way down there?

C: I thought there was something wrong with Nat.

L: …but there’s not???

C: She is perfectly fine and uninjured.

L: um she said she was kidnapped?????

C: Yes, she was kidnapped, but she is fine now in her stolen hotel room. This entire thing was an elaborate ruse to get me to buy her tampons.

…

C: You’re laughing at me aren’t you?

L: no

C: you are! you’re totally laughing your head off at me!!!

L: why would I ever do that???

C: LAURA NO THIS ISN’T FUNNY YOURE SUPPOSED TO ME ON MY SIDE IT’S LIKE ONE IN THE MORNING NO

C: LAURA STOP YOU’RE ENCOURAGING HER


End file.
